Sometimes, the man you believe yourself to be in a relationship with, may not even be in a relationship with you. He may not even be seeing you in that light. He may be out shopping for a partner while you are there thinking you’re both in a committed relationship with each other. This is why it is important to (as Nigerians will say) make sure you are your boo’s boo. You want to know for sure whether your man is on the same page with you in the relationship, because if he is actually still out shopping, then the prognosis is not good for the relationship. Now check out the below 3 signs that can help you figure out if your man is still out shopping.

1. You’re Not Yet Exclusive:

First of all, he is not your man if you both are not yet exclusive. If your options are still open and he is still dating other women, then he is not your man. Dating other women means he is still out shopping because he has not found what he wants yet, so he will keep searching. This is actually quite normal. You just have to see it for what it is and accept the meaning. In a 2019 article that Sabrina Alexis (founder of a premier women’s lifestyle website) wrote, she said, “…….no guy is going to risk losing a girl he really likes to some other guy and that is the risk he takes by not making it official (or exclusive)…… If he doesn’t step up, it just means he never liked you in the first place. ………”

Men are likely to tell you they want to be exclusive if they want to be exclusive. Until then they will keep things casual and that’s your sign that he is still out shopping. [Read More: How I Sex with a Married Man for the First Time: A Young Female Lawyer’s Experience]

2. His Reaction When You Quarrel Is To Bolt For The Door:

Everyone knows that nothing good comes easy and whatever you value and are interested in, you usually make the effort to see it through. When a man tries to bail at the first sign of any of misunderstanding in a relationship it is more likely because he doesn’t value the relationship so much in the first place. To him, it is dispensable, replaceable so he doesn’t worry about losing it. You wouldn’t want to lose something that is dear to you when there is something you can do to keep it. So the fact that he’s willing to toss the relationship whenever, is something that should make you watch out.

A friend told me one time about a guy she was dating. He swore he loved her and all but she wasn’t really feeling the love because he contrived to never be there for her whenever she needed him. She decided to discuss her concerns with him, hoping to make him understand that he needed to be there for her in a more obvious manner. But when she brought it up, his response was to say that since she doesn’t feel loved by him, she is welcome to leave him and go find someone that would fulfill her dreams of love and happiness. Just like that! He didn’t even bother to look at the issues she raised, he was ready to toss it all and be done with it.

That right there, is a sign that all along, he was still shopping because if he didn’t have so many other options, he wouldn’t find it so easy to dump the relationship in the trash can.

3. He Is Not Sure How He Feels About You:

Ever heard of the saying, “indecision is a decision” or the other one, “mixed signals is a no” ? Well, these represent ideas you should seriously consider. If your man is not sure how he feels about you, it is likely because he is not that into you in the first place. Quite a number of relationship experts have said that men usually know within the first few weeks of interactions with a woman, whether she would be a good fit for them or not. So if you have been together with a man for months and months, or even years and he is still not sure how he feels about you, you better realize that he is really not that into you. This could also be an indication that he is still out shopping. Since he is not sure you are what he wants, he’d definitely be out looking at what else is available. Do yourself a favour and take his inability to decide, for what it really is: you are really not the girl he wants.

In September, 2020, herway.net published an article by Christine Keller titled, you deserve more than someone who can’t make up his mind about you. In it, she said, “……….stop waiting for him. His indecision is a decision. He made up his mind a long time ago, but you just don’t get it yet…….”

To put it in plain terms, the earlier you realize and accept the real meaning of his uncertainty and act accordingly, the better for you.

On the whole, taking out time to determine whether your man is still out shopping is something I’d highly recommend for ladies because the alternative is anything but attractive. The alternative is literally allowing yourself to catch feelings and become emotionally vested in a man who may or may not be out shopping for the love of his life. This basically translates to you building castles in the air and we all know how such structures fare.